life with z.. so far :)

A few hours after Zander was born we had my mom bring Emery to meet him at the birthing center. She was SO dang cute with him! She loved on him immediately and handled things very well. 

Its now been a week and Emery is still doing so great with him. She is so helpful and loves him so much. She has a hard time when people come to visit, which is understandable! She doesnt like people to hold Zander either, she is very protective of her little brother! We've been hermits and have just been inside relaxing for the week. I am starting to go stir crazy though and need to get out! 

Zander has been such a good baby so far. I keep waiting for him to just start giving me a hard time, but so far so good! He has been sleeping great and I sure hope it stays that way! The first two nights were hard, but since then he has been only waking up once in the night. His stinky cord FINALLY fell off. And now he doesnt smell like a fish anymore. :)

Recovery has been good for me too. It's a lot easier when you don't tear I've noticed. I just now need to get my jelly belly under control! Its true when they say its harder to lose after your second kid... dang it! 

We are all SO in love with this little guy! In the post I wrote to Emery I was so worried about this big change but she seems to be handling things pretty well. Shes been more clingy and throwing more tantrums but its a huge adjustment for all of us! Caleb has been home all week so he has been such a big help! I'm nervous to see how things will go once he goes back to work. Caleb and Emery have spent so much time together i know it'll be hard on her too! I love being a family of four though. Caleb and I are learning to juggle things and kids. They seem to gang up on us at the same time. For instance, the other night Emery woke up at 1 crying for daddy, which woke me up too and it's hard for me to fall back to sleep, then Zander woke up at 2:30 so I was with him, then they both decided to wake up at 7 am for the day. Ahhh! Emery usually sleeps in til 8 or 9. But I love these kids of mine. Still can't believe I have TWO! I never thought that I could love anyone as much as I love Emery, but I was SO wrong. I love Zander just as much as I love Emery and my love for them is unconditional!

:)

Emery's first time holding baby Zander

This moment melted my heart when they met. She was so sweet with him.

My mommy meeting Z

Our first family picture! Please dont mind me. At this point I had been awake for almost 36 hours.. But I love these three!

Newborn Zander

Add caption

Enjoying some sunshine

Cutest sister.

My little big man and his stinky cord.

I loved these little jammies. He only got to wear them once though. He is so long!

BABY FEET. my favorite.

Emery loves his little piggies too

My loves :)

I love being his momma

First sleep smile I was able to capture!

Cutest sad scrunch face..

And a little frown. Its too cute though!

She always asks to hold him. And it melts me every time

Kisses for brother

My handsome boys!

Zander Caleb Spotz' Natrual Birth Story

I'll start out by saying I was SO ready to have him. I felt like my body was ready and that i would have him early, like mid-January. I tried everything to help me start labor naturally. Besides drinking castor oil, which is gross and I will never do. I have come to the conclusion that no matter what you do or how ready YOU feel, the baby will come when THEY are ready! Which I knew in the first place, but I still had to give it a try.

Every night for the last couple of weeks I would hope that would be the night I went into labor, and every morning I would wake up still pregnant and get a little bummed. Haha! But then I would remind myself that he WILL come out and soon, and too enjoy my time left with only Emery. The anticipation is killer, but once they decide to come it happens all SO fast and the wait really is all worth it.

SO... the birth story.
January 22nd
At 4:37am I woke up to feeling a gush of liquid. I froze for a sec and felt another one. I immediately woke Caleb up and told him that my water just broke. (Or so I thought). The first thing he said was "Oh, do you want me to turn the light on?" hahaha I went into the bathroom and there was definitely a good amount of liquid and mucus. YAY, I was thrilled to finally have it be baby day. Even thought I was a little nervous. Emery's labor and birth was a bit difficult and I wanted things to go differently this time but they seemed to be starting out the same.

I text my midwife and doula and told them that my water broke but contractions hadnt started yet so I was going to try and get more sleep. I woke back up around 7 am, I wasnt getting much sleep and the contractions had started but werent very regular yet. I was anxious and decided to get up and moving to see if I could get them regular. It helped being up. I took a shower and started cleaning. Caleb took Emery over to his parents house once she woke up. I laid down to take a break from cleaning and things seemed to slow down. I was still having mild irregular contractions and had a few other big gushes of fluid and tons of mucus when I went to the bathroom so I was getting a little worried that things werent progressing fast enough. My body just wanted to rest and relax. I wish I would've listened to my body and done just that! Instead I finished cleaning the place up, did all the laundry and got ready. When there was nothing left to do I decided to go for a walk. So Caleb and I went for an hour long walk. When we got back it was close to 4 pm. I relaxed some but then decided to head in and get things checked out and find out why I wasnt really progressing. I was starting to get stressed and worried. 

We arrived at the birthing center around 5:30pm. My midwife (Chris) asked how I was and what was going on. I told her I wasnt really progressing like I thought I should be. She asked if my water had actually broke or not but I honestly thought it had so I said yes, it had to of. 
She took me back and checked me. I was dilated to about a 4 and she could feel my bag of fluids and it felt good and definitely had not broke. so the gushes I had felt earlier were maybe from a high leak or something but I wasnt actually in active labor yet, just early labor.

I was actually SO happy to hear that, 1) because I was REALLY missing Emery and this way we were able to go home and see her and put her to bed ourselves and 2) I was glad to finally know why I wasnt progressing and it took a huge weight off my shoulders.

Chris told me I would probably end up having him by the weekend, so I knew he was coming soon. We went home and were able to be with Emery and relax. My contractions were still about every 15-20 min. but were manageable. I ended up going to bed a little after 8pm to see if I could get some good rest. Which I should've been doing all day! I was able to rest between contractions but noticed they seemed to be getting closer together. They began to get stronger as well but I was so tired and knew that I needed to continue to rest as much as I could.

January 23rd
At around 1am things were getting intense so I decided to start timing my contractions. They were coming about every 5-6 min. and were a min. long. I timed them for an hour until they were about every 4-5 min then decided I should probably let Chris and my doula (Kandise) know what was going on. I labored at home for another hour then told my mom it was time and we headed to the birthing center and got there shortly after 3 am.

Chris had someone waiting there for us. She checked me and I was at a 6 and fully effaced. She let Chris know and I had Caleb call Kandise and have her come too. Things werent too bad yet but they were definitely getting more intense. I decided to hop in the shower to be more comfortable. I labored in there for awhile, it was so relaxing and nice! Chris and two of her students, Christina and Tabatha, and Kandise had all arrived. I was thrilled to have them there. They were all SOOOO great and helped me out so so so much. They would help me through the contractions, relax me and give me positions to try. I am so grateful for all of their help. I lose track of time but they checked me at 6:30am and I was at an 8. They continued to help me labor. They had me on a ball leaning on to the bed. I had someone in front of me and someone behind me doing counter pressure and just helping me relax during contractions. I labored on the ball for quite awhile. During one contraction I felt a really big POP. It startled me and mid contraction I yelled "WHOA, did you guys feel that?!" At least thats what Caleb said I said. I thought I said hear that, because seriously it was such a big pop!! They all thought I was crazy Im sure but it felt SO weird! It didnt hurt at all and it wasnt my water breaking. They said it was probably his head turning and going down like they wanted because it was a little turned. Thats why they had me on the ball. Shortly after that though during another contraction my water finally broke and HOLY CRAP! There was TONS of liquid just gushing out. And I mean TONS. It kept coming. It felt so crazy and cool, as weird as it sounds I was literally in awe over it. HAHA! It was just so much. During a couple more contractions it started gushing some more. I finally stood up to get out of my soaking pants and more came out... and then I started peeing and couldnt stop! I was so embarrased! I just peed on the floor! And a ton too! But they were all nice about it and said it was okay and normal to do... Normal or not I still feel bad I peed all over the floor and they had to clean it up. But I guess you can get away with anything when you're in labor! :)

They were going to check me again at 8:30am but seeing as it was almost that time and the progress I was making they just had me continue to labor. Things were picking up and getting more and more intense! They finally had me hop in the bed and lay on my side. HOLY HELL. SO intense. I labored for a little bit like that then they had me go on to my back. I labored for about 20 min. like that, then I started feeling like pushing with the contractions. So I did. Those contractions were no joke. I remember with Emery that pushing was my favorite part. They werent painful with her. Pushing was the part I was looking forward to this time. But boy was I in for a treat. They were SO intense and I was so worn out. I was starting to get discouraged. I wouldnt have been about to do it without Chris and Kandise and everyone else. Chris was telling me to push past the pain and everyone was cheering me on, telling me what to do and that I was doing a good job.

Once I finally got his head partially out I knew things were coming to an end and that I was almost done, just had to push a little longer. I got his head all the way out then his shoulders got stuck. That did not feel the best. haha I yelled "Just get him out!" and Chris took over and pulled him out. (Christina had been doing the delivery part) I pushed for a total of 20 min and he was born! They took great care of me and I'm surprised I didnt even tear! Right after they pulled him out I laid back to rest and they threw him right up on my chest and it literally surprised me! With Emery since they had to revive her she wasnt placed immediately on me so i guess I was expecting the same thing, that I wouldnt get to hold him right away, because it took me by surprise! I was so happy though that I got to hold him right away. I thought he was just the cutest ever and fell instantly in love with my first son. I made them hurry and help me rip off my shirt so I could do skin to skin and snuggle my little man. Oh I was so happy to see his face and hold him! He was definitely worth the wait and all the labor pains haha! He came out weighing 8lbs 13oz and was 21 inches long. I sure felt the 13oz difference between him and Emery!

I am so happy with how his labor and delivery went. (Besides the day of early labor contractions crap) It went so smoothly and I am so blessed to have had such amazing women (and Caleb) help me out. BIRTH IS SO BEAUTIFUL!! I feel so empowered after delivery. Our bodies are so amazing and I am so grateful that I am able to carry and have children. There is just something about birth that is truly so amazing. I feel inspired and would love to become a doula, and possibly eventually a midwife, and help women have amazing birth experiences!

Picture time! 
Dont judge. 
:)

While in labor at the birthing center. Had to capture the belly for the last time!

The very first picture of him. Still all squish faced :)

SO happy to finally have him here on the outside! Also, I wish I was one of those who looks great after giving birth... but hey after over 24 hours of early labor and the real deal I could care less what I looked like.

I LOVE this picture. I dont even know who had the camera and was taking pictures... but I am sure glad that they did!

Caleb holding Zander for the first time

ok, their faces! haha!

Getting weighed

getting measured and checked out

His first bath, so content!

Me with my doula, Kandise and freshly bathed Zander

Tabatha and Christina

My AMAZING midwife, Chris and me. :)

Her famous blanket wrap job, he looks thrilled about it. haha

I miss you already.

Oh my sweet Emery,

You are becoming such a big girl! You love it when I call you a big girl. You look up at me beaming with the cutest smile on your face and you wiggle your cute little bum all excited like. It melts my heart every time!

There are SO many things that you do that I just love and cant get enough of. I am SO glad that I have been able to be a stay at home mom so that I can watch you grow and learn on a daily basis. 

Im sure it is just my hormones due to that fact that I am about to have your little brother any day now, but I often get so saddened at the thought that it will no longer be just you and I. 

Our days are shortly numbered where it will be just the two of us. And to be honest I am SO sad. I miss them already. There is nothing I love more than spending my days with you. I learn just as much from you as you probably do from me. 

You have became my best friend! (Besides your daddy, he will always be my number 1 :))

I will miss waking up and coming out to see your cute little face, making you give me a big hug and kiss because I missed you so much during the night. 

I will miss how after Caleb leaves in the morning we just play for hours on end. Until nap time, when I get to snuggle up to you and we read and read and read.

 I will miss coming to get you after nap time, you still playing in your bed, and as soon as I open the door you greet me so happily and I often times will crawl into your bed and we will stay and play in your room for awhile. 

I will miss our lunch times together. How we will just giggle with each other, even though half the time I have no clue what you are saying.

 I will miss the days where I really need to shower so I let you join me and we just have the best time playing in the tub. 
I will miss all of our special moments we have through out each and every day. 
I will miss the days of just Emery and mommy.

It makes me sad to think that your whole world is going to be turned upside down and things are going to be crazy at fist and take a lot of adjusting and getting used to. 
Don't get me wrong, I am super excited to have your brother join our family! 
I can NOT wait to see you be a big sister ! I know that you will be the absolute best. :) 
My love will not divide, it will multiply and along with that we will all continue to grow closer together. I hear. You and me. And together we will fall in love with this little guy coming into our lives. 
It makes me sad to think that I won't be able to give you all the love and attention that you will demand and feel like you need right then and there. But I promise that I still love you SO SO SO very much. 
Your brother will need me too. And I will love him just as much.
I will try my very best to set aside special time with you as well. Since to me that is very important. I don't want you to feel like you are being forgotten or replaced. I'm not even sure you will get those feelings, but it makes me sad to think about if you did. 
I hope that I can keep my patience with you both. But I am not perfect and feel I will probably fall short more times than I would like.
I am sorry for that. 
I will try my very best to be the very best mommy I can be. And I know you both will forgive me so quickly when I do mess up. 
I am so blessed to have you! 
Thank you for being such an amazing daughter and for teaching me so much about love, patience,  forgiveness, sacrifice and so much more. 

Motherhood is so hard, but the rich blessings that I receive regularly for being your mom are the very best and I couldn't ask for a better way to live my life than to be your mom!

I will be saddened to leave our little life behind, but I know that the future will be just as great or better for us! I can not wait to go through this journey with you and your daddy by my side. 
I love you SO much miss Emery Lynn Spotz!

Love with all my heart, Your mommy

BUMPDATE!

38 WEEKS.

I can't believe it. He could seriously come ANY DAY NOW!!!

I'm thinking next weekend it'll happen... hopefully..

I am SO beyond ready to meet this little guy and fall more in love with him! I am just SO excited. 

And nervous.

And anxious.

But excited!

I can't even imagine what it's going to be like being a family of four... I'm not even sure if I'm used to being a family of three yet! Haha

I just know Emery is going to be such a great big sister and I am excited to see her become one. 

And see Caleb become a daddy to a little boy. :) 

Things are going better than the last time I complained on my bumpdate.

So that's good :)

Sleep is still not the best.

Between him being super active, having to roll over a lot, and my bladder being the size of an ants, I don't get a very good night's sleep. 

I know I know, once the baby comes I won't be getting much sleep either. But at least he'll be here and I can enjoy the good times! :) 

I am feeling more prepared and ready for labor so really, little man, feel free to come out any time now! I was so worried that he was posterior like Emery was, which caused a lot of complications. But at my last appointment they assured me that he wasnt. I literally teared up because I was so happy!!! It helped take so much worry off of me and labor. I have a feeling this one will go a whole lot smoother. 

I met with my doula and planned how I want things to go. Even though things change and don't go according to plan it is good to have a birth plan! 

I am feeling very large these days and only want to wear Calebs comfy clothes. Nothing of mine fits anymore so going out in public is such a struggle trying to find something that doesn't make me completely slobbish. Haha! 

People comment all the time now on my belly. 

I know. I'm huge. I don't always need to be reminded... 

This random lady at costco actually grabbed my arm and said "I'm so excited", then pat my belly and said "any day now!" To be honest I was just a little creeped out.
I had a few other people just in that trip comment to me about my belly.
I think it's so funny, yet sometimes annoying, that people think just cause you are pregnant that they can comment and say whatever.
I've only had positive comments this pregnancy, which is good!
But still. People are so funny about pregnant woman! Haha 

2014 RECAP

2014 was pretty darn good to us! Here is a little recap of how the year went.

(I will have to go through and add pictures later...)

JANUARY- I started babysitting. Sofia (5) and Nixon (almost 3) at the time.

I also started watching Olivia (6 week old).

FEBRUARY- Celebrated my first Valentines day with Emery, which was my 5th time celebrating with Caleb.

 APRIL- Emery and I went to Boston for a week.

Emery turned ONE.

MAY- We threw Emery's first birthday party.

 I celebrated my second Mother's Day.

   I turned 22.

Caleb and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary.

JUNE- I found out that I was pregnant!

JULY- Emery and I got whooping cough.

AUGUST- Went on a family trip to Estes Park.

SEPTEMBER- Found out we were having a BOY!

OCTOBER-We took Emery trick or treating for the first time. She had a blast!
Caleb became business partners with his dad. YAY!

NOVEMBER- Caleb turned 25. 
We had a fun thanksgiving at my grandmas and his grandmas house.

DECEMBER- Enjoyed celebrating the holidays with family :)

We had quite a few bridal/baby showers I went to.
Along with quite a few weddings!

We didn't have many major significant things happen, but it was still a good year! And I am hoping 2015 is only going to be better! :) 

new year!

This year we rang in the new year at Kiley and Jason's house!

It was a lot of fun! We ate junk and played games :) 

We left Emery with my mom and mike, which I was a little sad about, but not that we would keep her up til 12 anyway! 

It was a pretty relaxing party, which was perfect! 

I was so tired I was struggling staying awake. Which is funny because caleb and I are usually night owls and end up going to bed later than we plan to every night. Haha

On New Years day we just stayed at home and relaxed and didn't do much! 

I am SO excited for this new year.

Obviously for the fact that I get to start off the new year having this sweet baby!

I can NOT wait!!!!

Also, things are starting to look up for Caleb and I and I am so excited to see where this year will take us. We have some big plans and I am thrilled that they are actually plans now and not just thoughts!

2015 is going to be a great year. I can just feel it. :) 

I've never really been much into new year resolutions, but I do want to change for the positive this year. So I will continue every day to become the best me I can be. :)

Christmas Day

Christmas day is usually SUCH a busy day for us.

Our normal schedule would be; wake up and do our own little christmas, go to Calebs parents house, see my mom, drive to my grandmas by noon or one, go to my dad's after, then head home and be done for the day. 

This year Caleb didn't want to rush everything, especially with Emery now. So we decided to just take it easy and relax more. Which I have never really done because all growing up it was always go go go on christmas day! So it was all new to me!

We ended up having such a fun christmas though. 

I was SO excited this year for Christmas!  I loved playing "Santa". Caleb and I had a fun time setting things up for Emery. Even though she really had no idea what would go on or what Christmas even is. It was still so magical! I love life with kids!!

Christmas Eve we ended up not getting very much sleep. We went to bed pretty late, then Emerys darn teeth decided to bother her and wake her up at 3ish. She hardly ever wakes up in the night but while teething she has been waking up about once a week or every two weeks screaming in pain :( poor thing!! (As of right now January 8th.. she just has 2 more teeth to cut then hopefully she's done for awhile!! They are coming in right now. Blah teething.)

So of course she would wake up Christmas eve of all nights... after we got her put her back to bed I was starving so I decided to go and eat a bowl of cereal... at like 4 something in the morning. Haha then I finally got back in bed and able to fall asleep around 6. I was planning on sleeping in since I knew Emery probably would, but woke up before 9 and couldn't fall back to sleep. So I just laid in bed waiting for caleb and Emery to wake up so we could get the party started! Caleb woke up a little while later, then we both just waited for emery. Haha she woke up around 10:30 and we turned on the video camera and recorded getting her and taking her into the front room to see what Santa had brought.

She was so cute and just started playing with her cute little toys. We only had time for that before we went upstairs and had a yummy breakfast with my mom, Mike and taylor. After breakfast we went down to open our presents from each other.

It took awhile because Emery wanted to open and play with whatever present she opened. We weren't in a rush though so we would open everything and really just had such a fun time! I love my little family!! I love my life that we are creating with each other. :) 

After we finally finished with our presents we got ready and went to Calebs parents house for the day.

We just hung out there all day and relaxed and enjoyed company and caleb was able to nap.... but tat was the first time that Emery actually skipped a nap. So towards the end of the night she was done. We had a very big fancy dinner but it took all day to cook so we didn't end up eating til after 7. It was super delicious though! But after Emery was ready for bed. We hadn't even opened our presents from them, which we felt bad that we had to rush and didn't really get to enjoy it with them. 

They got Emery a car that you drive, she hasn't figured out how to drive it yet.. but she still loves that thing! She'll climb into it and sit and play or honk the horn. I know once she learns how to drive it she'll be in heaven! Haha

Since we didn't see my dad or grandma on Christmas like we usually do we got together with 
my dad the Sunday after Christmas to celebrate with them, then got together with my grandma a few days later and went to lunch. It was nice having plans after Christmas.  It kept Christmas alive for a little while longer. Haha :)

I will have to add pictures another time, since it won't let me from my phone!  

Christmas parties!

The Saturday before Christmas we always go up to my dad's for my grandmas Christmas party. This year was no different. 

It is always something I look forward to! My aunts and uncles all come and it is fun being together.

We usually have dinner then play a few games and do a gift exchange. 

It was a simple fun party that started off the Christmas parties for us! 

The next day my mom threw her Christmas party. 

She always does an amazing job and something different every year. Growing up I always thought Christmas was so magical at her house and I hope to do the same with my kids! 

We had a simple dinner of pizza and a bunch of snack food. We were able to spend more time all together instead of doing the big fancy sit down dinners we usually do.

There were crafts for the kids to do, they were so cute and Emery actually enjoyed doing them! 

We then each took a turn singing Christmas songs as families.  Caleb and I sang with kiley, jason, tanner, kelsey, trevor, taylor and drew played the guitar then joined in because we were not very good to be honest. Hahaha! My mom wanted us to sing the Christmas version of the hallelujah song. So we did but only had one practice the night before, and for me it's hard to sing with that many people because we all had different pitches haha. It was still so fun to see everyone else perform!  

My mom then read a book on the symbols of Christmas. She gave us each a cute little Stocking full of the symbols from the book. 

We then did the kids gift exchange. She mixed it up this year and she had each of the kids pick a present and give it to the name they drew. 

We then did the adult gift exchange. We just played a typical game of either picking a gift or stealing one that had been opened. Only there was a twist at the end! Once we all had a gift my mom then said we were now going to give the gift we ended up with to someone else who we thought wanted it more. It was such a fun way to remind us that Christmas is about GIVING not RECEIVING.  

Again, it's something I want to teach my own kids!!

We ended the night opening all the thoughtful gifts from my mom and mike. 

I love when our family gets together, I feel like we don't see much of each other and it's sometimes hard with such a big family that even when we all do get together you don't always get to catch up with everyone! But I am so grateful to have each and every one of them in my life :) 

Yay for families!

:) 

Angels.

I love December and the true spirit of Christmas. 
Its the time of year where your family, friends, neighbors, or even complete strangers act as angels in your life. 

We have been blessed two years in a row now by acts of kindness around Christmas.
Last year a giant bag of presents was left for us. We were so very grateful for them and that we were able to give Emery a good Christmas last year. We enjoyed the gifts given to us as well. We didn't have much last year and it was so touching when we received it. We were so thankful for it and for the love we received.  
This year a very generous card and a present for Emery were left for us. The present was a giant Mickey Mouse, which Emery LOVES! She has loved Mickey Mouse this year so she was so excited when she opened it on Christmas! 
I can not express what this meant to us. Caleb and I both teared up and we're so very grateful for whoever sent it our way. It drove me nuts that we didn't know who it came from. I wanted to personally thank them!! But it is people like both of those that have helped us out that I want to be like.
I want to be the one on the giving end. I can not wait until we have the means to be able to do that. But until then I want to help people out in ways that I can right now. 

I want to raise my kids to know how good it feels to give. And to make christmas more about giving than about all the presents. 
We are so blessed to have all the people in our lives that we have. People never cease to amaze me. 
I am so grateful!!! 
Especially for all that I have and those that are in my life. We are so very blessed!

Calebs dad and mom asked for such an amazing gift this year. Their only wish was for a white envelope in the tree on Christmas from each of us. This white envelope is a note to them telling them what service you have done for other people. They asked us to participate and it really helped us get into the holiday spirit and we loved looking for service to do for other people. They got the idea of the white envelope from a story they heard about a wife who would give one to her husband every Christmas instead of buying him random things he really didn't need. It started with her telling him she bought a poor high school wrestling team new gear and every year after that she would do different things. I loved the story and idea of the white envelooe. I feel like people try too hard to get the perfect gift and often times it's soo stressful!

The white envelope idea can be as cheap or expensive as you make it. Caleb's parents didn't want us to go out and spend a ton of money helping people out, unless we had the means to and wanted to, but they just wanted us to do more service. 

We were able to donate to a few places and it was such a nice feeling knowing that we were helping people out. We also gave money to those in need and did random acts of kindness. We looked for opportunities in which we could help and happily offered our help and it was so great! 

Even though Christmas is over that doesn't mean the service stops.  I hope to continue to do things throughout the whole year and raise Emery and our children to know and do service as well. 

We have so many amazing examples in our life who do this and often without even really thinking about it and makes me want to be so much better! 
I look forward to being an angel in other people's lives. :)