Find the beauty within.

Society makes woman think that they need to be skinny, pretty, tall, dress like this, don't do that. They even expect you to look like that after having a baby. And get back to your pre-baby body days. When in reality your body will never be the same. And THAT'S OKAY!!! Having a baby and becoming a mother is such a beautiful thing! I just realized this.

The other night as I was complaining to myself about how I look and was getting frustrated. I have stretch marks (that appeared AFTER I had Emery.. does that even happen?!), I have mom arms.., my hips are still wide, I still have a little "pouch", and parts of me I wont even mention. But later that night I read an article on the true beauty of having a baby and becoming a mom. It was SO true. My body shows signs of making, carrying, delivering and caring for another tiny HUMAN. If that isnt amazing, I dont know what is. So I made myself make a list of 5 things that I LOVE about my post-baby body.

 And here they are:

1. I got lucky and lost all my pregnancy weight a week after having Emery, and I currently weigh 17 pounds less than my pre-pregnancy weight. (I lost all my muscle that I had but at least I am lower than my goal weight and it makes me feel like I can tone up easier now... :) gives me hope!)

2. My stretch marks. They appeared after I gave birth. I love those little marks on my hips because they prove to me how amazing my body is. And that it carried a tiny HUMAN!!! (I had a huge belly too so I'm actually kind of surprised, but glad, that I didnt have more!)

3. My little pouch will make it easier to have more babies.. right? It wont have to stretch as much... hahaha

4. I am amazed that I can nurse my baby and keep her healthy. Last week I got the stomach flu.. it was awful, the only time I held Emery was when I fed her because I didnt want to get her sick. Well a few days later Caleb got the stomach flu.. and it was awful, but I made sure to nurse her lots and guess what... Emery never got sick. My  magical milk helped keep her well because she was getting my antibodies. How cool is that??

5. My flabby arms give Emery something to play with. hahah kidding, kind of. But I am just happy that my body was able to carry Emery and deliver her into this world. I am a mom now and will forever be and my body just shows that I am. 

Yes, you can work out and get your body looking great, and that is awesome! I need to be better at that. But we shouldnt judge people for not bouncing back fast, or for having stretch marks, or for whatever reason. Bodies after having a baby are kinda scary but what they represent and bring into this world are so beautiful. So it is worth it. I would gladly take my flabby body over everything because it gave me my sweet baby who I love more than anything.  All mothers are beautiful. Motherhood is beautiful and everything that goes along with it is beautiful. Just be YOU. YOU are beautiful. It is society who is ugly.

Be Merry

Its that time of year again. I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR! I love everything about it. I love the holidays and spending them with family. I love the snow. (until about February.. then its just annoying and I want it gone.) My favorite thing about the snow is staying inside. Haha! I love to snuggle up with lots of blankets. Watch movies. Drink hot chocolate. Sit and read by the fire. Bundle up in warm clothes. Sit inside and watch the snow fall. It really is so pretty! And I am so excited to spend these cold snowy days with my little love bug!

I love setting up for Christmas. We usually do the first of December but this year time has gotten away from us. We set up our tree like two weeks ago but didnt have lights for it. So for the past two weeks Caleb has been saying he'll bring some home from his parents.. well he kept forgetting. He finally brought some home last night and we decorated the tree today. SO FUN! I love life with a baby. Every thing is just so much more exciting and fun. Emery truly brings the magic of Christmas to life. 

Speaking of Christmas and this time of year, this year is different. Caleb is out of a job, he is working for his dad though which I am so thankful for, but it makes things really hard. We are living in my parents basement, again I am so thankful that we are able to with the situation we are in, but it makes things hard. I always seem to get a little more depressed around the winter time. Seasonal depression I guess. Its normal. But this year as I feel myself slipping away and having the stress of money and life I stopped for a second, looked at my beautiful baby and thought of everything that I am grateful for. There was SO much to be grateful for! We dont have a lot of money, things are tight, and with Christmas coming and having to buy everyone something it makes things really really stressful. But our families are so great and have been blessing us time and time again. Caleb's dad is paying him to work for him. My parents are letting us live in their basement and my mom gave us a bunch of things for Emery that we can give her for Christmas. We are blessed. We wont always be in this situation so we will just have to make do with what we have. I have already been given the greatest gift on earth. And that is being  a mom. I couldnt ask for more. I have a great husband who loves me, a beautiful daughter who brightens my days, and we come from amazing families. We have so much love that that is really all we need. We are SO blessed.We may not have a lot, but we have what is most important. And I am okay with that! 

I shouldnt have to stress over Christmas. It is supposed to be a joyful time of year. So instead of stressing over everything I am just going to take a step back and enjoy. I was thinking how I just wish that I could get everyone I loved something. And I realized that I can. I can give them service. I can give them my time. I can give them someone to listen to and count on. I can give them a good friend. It may sound all cheesy but society has changed people. Its all about what you want and what you get for Christmas, instead of what you can give. Memories with people you love are better than objects you get bored with anyway. I am going to strive to be happy this winter. I am so blessed to have Emery. She and Caleb definitely help me out during my darkest days. Life is great! There is so much to look forward to. These are our hard times but we will get out of them stronger and a closer family. I AM SO BLESSED. :)
 

tis the season.

We took the girls to get their pictures done last Saturday. It was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. But between mine and Kiley's camera we got a few good pictures! It was so much fun also. Their cute little personalities are coming out and it is so much fun watching them all interact together. 

Emery, Jamillie, Stella

I love this one. Ps.. I totally made the onesies. I thought it would be a fun simple little project.. took a lot longer than I had expected. HOLY CRAP. Good thing they look so cute in them.

Emery is such a cheeser. Jamillie was in chill mode. Stella was just content.

Here is a little of the craziness that went on. Emery kept turning around, Jamillie kept wanting to crawl away, Stella was just content with her toys though. :)

This face. I love it. Its her concentrating face and I love watching her play and learn!

She was too busy playing so no smiles for us. But she will suck on her bottom lip of course. hahaha she is too funny!

Happy babies! But for real, this is my favorite picture we took.

Emery was NOT having it. She was cold and hungry and obviously hated the cute little outfit we put them in.

Jamillie had enough so she was out. hahahahah!

After she was fed and placed on a warm blanket she did much better! :)

Probably not the "brightest" idea little E.. okay that was stupid. but really it scared me when she started eating them. But at least its a cute picture!

Cheeser butt!

Santa Baby

That face again... LOVE IT.

This was probably the best one we got of them in this outfit... After almost an hour of taking pictures they were done.

Their faces. This is also one of my favorites. HAHAHAHA

Yup, they were BEYOND done. Except Emery, now that she was fed and warm she was pretty content.. and obviously in her own little world.

Sucking on that lip again.

Happy girl with two little chompers! Also her little heart is fading and it makes me sad.

Crazy legs! She was always moving them. And her little eyes kill me.

She is already SO beautiful. I am terrified for her teenage years.

This was how she was like 90% of the time. Turned around. We were always turning her back around!Such a silly babe.

I am SO happy that we all live close to each other. It has been SO much fun watching the girls grow up together and it makes me happy to know that they will be life long friends! I love these three babes so much and cant wait to watch them grow through the years!

The party never stopped.

Friday the 29th, the day after Thanksgiving was pretty relaxing. I made Caleb stay home from work... when he's his own boss its okay once in a while right?? Usually he works six days a week and only takes Sundays off so it was so nice and fun spending a little extra time with him! :)
We also still hadn't found our car keys yet so I decided to stay home and clean the house until I find them and have Caleb help watch Emery. I did loads of laundry and straightened up and still never found them. My parents took us out to dinner for Caleb's birthday that night then we just relaxed the rest of the night and even went to bed early!

Saturday the 30th:
I did more cleaning and finally found our keys... on Caleb's night stand just sitting there in plain sight! I ran and got him and made him come and see where they were. I thought he had looked there so I never bothered and this whole time he had been the one blaming me that I was the one to lose them since I was the last to drive. But I had told him I thought that I gave them to him... and I was RIGHT! hahaha It was just a funny moment and we are both happy to finally have our car keys back. Also....

EMERY TURNED 7 MONTHS OLD!!
She weighs 18lbs.
She says dada and mama only she doesn't know that shes saying that. She'll say dadada all day long when she's happy but when she's whiny and sad that's when she'll say mama. We'll see what her REAL first word is in no time I'm sure.
She talks alllll the time. Just baby gibberish but she loves to talk.
She pinches, hard.
She scratches.
She still loves bath time.
She will even take good naps sometimes! Woo!
She still grabs everything.
She likes playing with hair and earrings.
She plays with her own hair while I nurse her.
She is almost crawling. I know she wants to. She is so close to! But I'm okay with her not crawling just yet. :)
she'll climb on us now.
She likes to stand up.
She does this funny thing when she gets mad. She tenses her body up and grunts at us. Hahaha
She gives kisses now.
She giggles and laughs at like everything.
She loves to blow raspberries all day long, and spit them right in your face.
She also likes to spit when you give her food.
She is becoming such a little tease.. just like her daddy! I love her little personality! She is shy until she gets to know you then she is a crazy little goofball.

I am Thankful.

Thanksgiving:

We had a rushed crazy busy day. 

Emery woke up at 4:30 am and wouldn't let us put her back in her crib, when we tried she would cry and wake up. Caleb tried. I tried. She would just sleep in our arms. She finally let us put her down at around 6:30. I never set an alarm because Emery usually always wakes up between 7-8 every morning. We had two places to be on Thanksgiving so I didn't even worry about setting an alarm thinking I'd just get up and get ready when Emery woke up. Only Emery had other plans. Since she was up for a couple hours early in the morning she didn't end up waking up until ten! We were all tired so that was nice that she slept in but we were not going to make it to Caleb's families house early like we wanted. Oh well. Caleb had to run to the store to pick up stuff so we could make a dish but we couldn't find our keys anywhere. Good thing we live in my parents basement! (I don't say that too often hahahaha) we went and borrowed their car. 

We made it to Caleb's parents house by 1:30. We had to leave by 3:30 to head to Logan to my dads, so after we ate we had to hurry and celebrate Caleb's birthday with everyone then literally ran out the door while he was opening gifts. I hate feeling rushed. My anxiety was going through the roof and I felt bad we weren't able to stay and relax and talk to everyone. We made it to my dads by five for our second dinner. We ate then basically had to leave a couple hours later to get back home to get Emery in bed. It was so fun seeing everybody but I feel like we didn't get to really relax and talk to people because we were so rushed to get here and there. The day just went by too fast! I didn't really have a chance to think of all I'm thankful for. So here's my list:

I AM THANKFUL FOR...

A house to live in. Even though it's my parents basement.. At least we have somewhere to go every night and it's warm.

Clothes to wear. Even if they aren't the newest "style". 

Food to eat. Every day, every meal.

Clean water to drink. 

A car to get us places. Even though we only have one car, and it's an ugly old car, it's better than nothing.

Modern technology. 

Modern medicine when needed.

An education.

My health.

My friends. Especially the ones who make time for me.

 My many blessings, and trials for that matter. 

Seriously for ALL THAT I HAVE. I don't have much, but I still feel so blessed. 

But most of all I am thankful for my FAMILY

For Emery, for making me want to be a better person all around. For making me a mommy and for brightening my day every single day.

For Caleb, for being my rock, best friend and greatest husband for me. For accepting me as I am and loving me through my flaws and all.
For my Mom, for giving us a place to live and for helping out so much in our time of need. She is a great example for me to look up to.
For Caleb's Parents, for giving Caleb work so he can help support us. For loving me as their own and always being so willing to help us.
For my sister Kiley, she is one of my best friends. She is the best sister a girl can ask for. She is such a good mommy and I look up to her so much. I am so lucky she is my sister!
For all of my other siblings and their families, for my in-laws, and all of our extended family.
Family truly is the greatest gift. I am so blessed to have everyone of them in my life and I love them all!

I truly am so thankful for all that I have and for everyone in my life. 

 

Oh she was too cute! I love this little turkey butt!

Party time!

We've had a pretty busy week last week.

Wednesday the 27th was Caleb's 24th birthday:

He went to basketball in the morning, and according to him he played awesome! Which was a birthday present to himself he said.  Emery woke up early so when Caleb got home I was kinda being a grump. I hate when I'm grumpy! I just wanted to be happy and make his birthday special like it should be. But he told me to go back to bed for a little while. So I did... Only so that I would be in a good mood the rest of the day for him! He is too good for me. Once I was rested and up for the day we took his presents to him and then I made him breakfast. We got him a new phone a month ago and counted that as his present but I had to get him more so he had something to open. We got him new shoes which he desperately needed, a gift certificate for a massage which he needed too for all his hard work, and a remote control helicopter that my mom got and said I could give to him which ended up being a bust and didn't work.

After breakfast we got ready and went to a movie. I told him it was his day so we could go see any movie that he wanted, I know he wanted to see the new Thor or Enders game but we went and saw Catching Fire because he is great and knew that's what I have been wanting to see. I tried to tell him to choose a different movie but he wouldn't budge. The movie was so good though! We both really enjoyed it. It was also our first time leaving Emery while we went out since she was two months old. Now that she's getting out of her stranger danger phase it's a lot easier to leave her. We had a great time alone but I was so anxious the whole time and text my mom a few times and then after the movie the first thing I did was call and see how she was even though we were on our way home and would see her shortly. She was alive and well! Of course. Maybe one of these days I won't worry so much. Doubt it though. Later we went to dinner at Tepanyaki, which is also one of my favorite place to go... I think he just loves to please me, I don't know. We took Emery with us because we thought
it'd be fun for her to watch the cooks. We all had a great time! Dinner was good but the company was even better. :) Our cook guy was kind of a tease but our waitress was so cute with Emery! We went to the mall after and he bought me a couple things.. You would've guessed it was my birthday! Funny thing is, a few days before his birthday I told Caleb I was excited for my birthday coming up, he looked at me and said "you're birthday isn't for like six months..." I told him I get two birthdays, his and mine because when I married him what's his is now mine. He laughed. But really he made his birthday seem like mine. I kept trying to make it special for HIM but he is just so good to me! We went to his families house after for cake and ice cream. The cake wasn't made when we arrived and it was getting close to Emery's bedtime but it was still fun seeing his family. 

That takes us to the end of his birthday. It was a fun day and I hope I made Caleb feel as special as he is to me. I don't think I came close but I hope he had a good day because he truly deserved it. 

Fun with the birthday boy!